the dance
i've gotten a bit stuck with this blog - not knowing what to post because there's so many new and overwhelming things i could write about. so since i don't know how to pick just one...i'll name a few: new houseparents have moved in (which also means new housemates); my good friends, josh and tammy, moved to georgia; my mom sent me pickles; a hurricane hit texas; a hurricane hit my room; a boy is coming to visit me in 7 weeks; i only have 4 months of my contract left; my care group, consisting of 5 women, rocks my world; my girls are emotionally sucking me dry.
i've been praying to step outside of my perspective - if i were to look at my life solely through my eyes i would be an emotional wreck. my reality is so skewed, my vision is too blurred to see the dynamics of a God who is unchanging in his character, but fluid in his movement. not until recently have i begun to grasp what it means to keep "in step with the Spirit", what it looks like to surrender theologies, preferences, and expectations. yes, God is a solid and sure foundation, a calm in the storm, our rock...but...BUT he's also a rushing wind, the spring of life, a warrior - living, active and most often unpredictable. have i reduced this journey to books (others' perspectives), formulas (others' solutions), quiet times (too often an exclusive solution), or a label (others' prognosis)? i cannot admit to being anywhere close to understanding what i'm saying, but i know that i've been asleep and unaware to the fluidity of God's ways. there's a stirring in my spirit that i've been missing something - a dance he's invited me to, but i've been too stuck looking at my handicapped feet instead of looking up into his eyes as he leads me. the handicap is my own religion. the dance is love.
i've been praying to step outside of my perspective - if i were to look at my life solely through my eyes i would be an emotional wreck. my reality is so skewed, my vision is too blurred to see the dynamics of a God who is unchanging in his character, but fluid in his movement. not until recently have i begun to grasp what it means to keep "in step with the Spirit", what it looks like to surrender theologies, preferences, and expectations. yes, God is a solid and sure foundation, a calm in the storm, our rock...but...BUT he's also a rushing wind, the spring of life, a warrior - living, active and most often unpredictable. have i reduced this journey to books (others' perspectives), formulas (others' solutions), quiet times (too often an exclusive solution), or a label (others' prognosis)? i cannot admit to being anywhere close to understanding what i'm saying, but i know that i've been asleep and unaware to the fluidity of God's ways. there's a stirring in my spirit that i've been missing something - a dance he's invited me to, but i've been too stuck looking at my handicapped feet instead of looking up into his eyes as he leads me. the handicap is my own religion. the dance is love.
posted by Autumn Rogers at 1:31 AM
1 Comments:
Whoa, Baby! That's a lot. It make me want to talk to you in person all the more. I am very kindred though in what you said about "if i were to look at my life solely through my eyes i would be an emotional wreck. my reality is so skewed, my vision is too blurred to see the dynamics of a God who is unchanging in his character, but fluid in his movement." I have been so emotionally up and down in the last couple of months. Partly b/c I am struggling to step out of myself and see bigger. And then I think partly, God is teaching me that side of me that I too often restrain. I love you, can't wait to be w/ you again.
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