the magote hike

i decided to take "all the walks i want to take" that burroughs spoke of and combine them into one huge hike yesterday. it took two hours to get up, having to stop almost every 10 minutes because the incline was so steep (or i am out of shape), and one hour down. every part of my body aches, and i think i took a total of 9 ibprofen between getting home and going to bed last night. every summer, as an entire campus, we take the students on a 4 day hike up Pico Duarte - the highest mountain in the caribbean. so after yesterday, i figure i have a lot more Magotes to hike before accomplishing Pico....or i "conveniently" take my vacation this summer.

John Burroughs:

"I still find each day too short

for all the thoughts I want to think,

all the walks I want to take,

all the books I want to read,

and all the friends I want to see."

expecting expectations

i heard a quote recently: "ministry begins when expectations cease". i didn't like that much at first, but when it comes to my girls, it's proven true. they're professional rebels, so i can't expect them to be good or treat me with respect. therefore, i don't freak out or get upset or become prideful when they're butt-holes. however, when a person who claims Christ is Lord of their life then expectations are formed right away. Scripture has a lot of high standards that it calls us to, and i'd like to think that most believers are trying to attain. but with every calling on our life, there is grace to accomplish it - both from God and His family. it's right and scriptural to hold believers accountable to God's commands. so i would like to add something to this quote - ministry to the lost begins when expectations cease.
thoughts?
my tongue is back to its rosy-self now. thank you for all the concern!

black tongue

yes, folks, that's right. not the black plague but the black tongue. i woke up with it this morning and worked myself into a tizzy about what it could be. the internet doesn't say anything about it, and i hadn't eaten a black lolly-pop, so it's all a mystery. with a lot of effort, i brushed it all away and am curious to see if it comes back tomorrow. if you have any information regarding this vile ailment please contact me immediately.

dia de amistad

i'm blessed to automatically have 10 beautiful valentines today. and to have a good friend who went to town with me so that we could pick out flowers to give to oneanother. and for a ride-my-butt Care Group who hold me accountable to not running from my problems. and for a sweet dad, who sends sweet emails. and for a best friend who calls and misses me even when she's in a hot tub drinking margaritas with her girlfriends.
i feel so loved today. even when i'm alone on a chilly night of QR duty with a throbbing butt from taking swats earlier while friends are at a fish fry. goes to prove that i do not have to allow outward circumstances to affect the peace and joy i choose to claim within. amen? it's been a very happy valentines day.

saving private rogers

I'm sick with sin. I've always known it, but haven't been so painfully made aware of it before coming here. Today I feel like running from this place to be alone in the quiet to vomit up all the "flesh" I've binged on lately; to try to exfoliate all the crud that makes me feel so heavy. But the flesh is ever present, sin crouches at my door, and the devil continually prowls around, waiting to devour me. I'm astonished when I hear people say "the battle is already won/over"; did I miss the memo to leave the battle field? I know not. I'm trying to fight the good fight, like a good soldier, but today...no, this week, I cannot hear my commanding officer, nor find my squadron.

I'm studying the several ministries of the Holy Spirit and all that transpires once we are made new by Christ's grace and blood - all of them occur the moment of salvation, save BEING FILLED. This ministry is dependent upon my yielding control. This is what I must be missing: the continual surrender, absolute abandonment, desperate dependence. I am always feeling this way, but must not be walking in the action of it; my emotions do not create a reality. I need to be rescued from the battle of not seeing clearly, not praying continuously, not loving always. I'm lost in a haze of my own spirituality, which without Christ, is actually death. I guess this is all part of working out my salvation.

name change

as of last night the girls have now been given permission to call me by my first name. they were all pretty excited, but have yet to remember and when they do correct themselves they say my name with a soft, slow whisper - "i mean....Aautuummn." i have found that i am responding to them differently as well. "Miss Rogers" has been screamed, cursed and threatened so much that my first name seems so pure in comparison, and i respond similarly - softer and kinder. it will only be a matter of time before we're all used to the change, but until then, i'm enjoying my name being said with such finesse.

relevant

the more time i am here - almost a year now- and the longer i am from the american culture, the more naive i feel, less knowledgable. like i'm missing out on the latest controversial topics, current politics, trends and entertainment. i don't know how to design cool web pages, or what the newest trick is in Halo 2.
WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO?
not that i've cared much about the aforementioned when i was in the middle of it, but there's a slight fear that i'll end up as some third culture - not fitting in back in the U.S. because i now march to the beat of a different drum, but not fitting in abroad because i haven't learned all the dance steps that go in sync with this different drum.
thankfully, i am certain of one thing: growing in relationships. i'm surrouned by an ecclectic group of staff and an assortment of troubled teens. i'm learning discipline, confidence, authority, servanthood and communication. surely these are applicable in all places with all people. i desire to grow in knowledge and be relevant to multiple cultures and various types of people.
do y'all have any suggestions on how to stay up-to-date and relevant?