craving a real church

I was so homesick for my Denton church today. It is hard to "worship" with 50 students who don't live what they sing, and are required to attend church. The 50 some staff members are required to attend church as well. Really....it's not church at all. Not in the new testament definition of fellowship. We have such an opportunity to have a radical community of believers here, but even with the care groups, bible studies and devos we do there is no real family. There are so many references of "especially to the body of believers" in the new testament - love, carry one another's burdens, give, meet together, comfort, forgive, etc. I'm around the staff here day in and day out and these acts of true spirituality and selflessness happen sporadically. I'm pointing the finger at myself as well.

a revived heart, a full cup

So I absolutely suck at keeping this updated. I'll try harder. But really, I just don't know how to even begin to explain my life here. Like this week, it's been hard at the house with the girls, but the hours I've had off have been fantastic. I've gotten back in the groove of running, yesterday I went golfing (only 5 out of 9 holes) and today I went mountain biking for three hours. I think that here, in a place where the heart matters so much, a staff member MUST learn and discern their heart. How it rests, is refreshed, struggles, learns, loves, etc. The past few days have shown me that my heart is revived by outside activities, whether going solo or with a group. Pray that I discipline myself to allow God to revive my heart, so that the hard times in the house are met with a calm and content spirit.
I'm on QR duty for the second time this week. Pray for Kacie. She's been in the program almost a year, and still spends most of her time in the QR or headed there. Starr house (my house) begins our week-long housetrip this Monday night, and our houseteam is anxious about Kacie going with us. Either way, I know it's going to be an extremely challenging and encouraging week with the girls and our new houseparents.
I'm being impressed with "the cup" a lot in my prayers. The cup that God's asking me to drink, if my cup is overflowing, becoming a drink offering, etc. This is the end of the poem I wrote a few weeks back:

One thing David asked for

and his heart was sealed with yours

Ten thousand have I asked for

and yet I still feel poor

If all my founts are in you

and I've got a river of life

Then give me strength to drink this cup

and a faith that doesn't ask "why?"

Please be in prayer over the cup that the Lord is giving me here, and that I would be able to swallow it, be nourished and sustained by it...and even thirsting for more.

update

Well, Retreat is over and the normal structure is back in place. It was a very fun-packed, encouraging week. I had the joy of being a team captain for the morning competitions. This meant keeping the enthusiasm up: wrestling other team captains, throwing raw eggs on opposing teams, losing my voice, etc. Good times.
Our speaker spoke to our students on Hebrews 12 - walking the walk, casting burdens, and fixing our eyes on Christ. Thankfully, students didn't make "emotional"decisions, but small, genuine steps in the right direction (towards God). One of my favorite testimonies from the week was a young man who said how he had never looked forward to anything back at home, waking up with no purpose, and feeling empty and dead inside. Until this past week - he actually had fun, looked forward to the next day, and felt alive. Rad, huh?
The speaker also led staff devos on rest. A very appropriate topic for our 50 staff members that are continually wearing themselves out over our students. Although I physically, and emotionally exhaust myself, I know that rest is truly only found in the spiritual realm, the presence of God, the pages of His Word....not always a nap, or vegging on a movie. Please pray this for our staff as we are facing a lot of pain and transition on campus.
My new houseparents move in today! Keep our 9 girls in your prayers, as they are sure to be butts for at least the next month. :) Good thing I like big butts....and I cannot lie.

retreat week

Tonight starts Retreat here at Escuela Caribe..it's almost like summer camp for our students - lots of games, workshops, devos, worship, etc. It's the most spiritually emphasised time here, and always leaves a lasting impression on the kiddos. Please keep it in prayer...our students need much healing, grace, freedom and joy, found in Christ alone. I'll post again soon.