reflection

i find myself in the same exact place i was last year on valentine's day - it was cold and raining and i was on QR duty. it's a good thing this isn't my favorite holiday. therefore, because this day is nothing exceptional to the next, and the only way i've observed it as a holiday at all was to eat chocolate for breakfast and wear my hot pink rain boots, i would like to take the time to reflect on how drastically different my life in the dominican is - the difference that in three weeks time i will be mourning.

1. it's quiet in my head. the latin culture is by no means serene- loud music is often blaring well into the night - but if i turn my translator to "off" i can pass by dozens of people in a day and hear nothing but my own thoughts.
2. to be healthy is dirt cheap. americans have certainly created a monstrous industry (including style, vacation plans, professions, literature, chatrooms and the like) built around taking care of ourselves. here, to step outside my door it to take a hike either up or down, and i can purchase a weeks' worth of fruits and vegetables under five bucks.
3. ministry is inescapable. it literally propels my butt off the couch. i have to hang up the phone. i can't stay up late or sleep late. i don't drink that or smoke those. i've got 9 valuable reasons to deny myself, and i love it.
4. community is vital. i have to cry. i have to face conflict. i have to pray. and when it costs so much to call the states, you begin to break down, work through conflict and petition God with the person next to you who is breaking down, working through conflict and petitioning God. inadvertently a family is formed.

ovid:

"if you would be loved, be lovable"

the too-often unsung chorus of Amazing Grace

The Lord has promised good to me...

His word my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be...

as long as life endures.

28 days remaining

today is feb 3. on march 3 i'll be in florida. i'm trying to jam-pack all the adventure i possibly can in the weeks ahead. paragliding is at the top of the list. today i'm rockclimbing at a waterfall closeby. next week i'm going whale watching. but all this busyness wears me out and makes me just want to sit on my friend's couch with a mug of coffee and soak up the fellowship i've found here.

i made a rough draft of a budget for the first month i'm back since i won't be working the whole month of march - i hate budgeting. and i know i'm not very good at it when i include things like a new pair of running shoes and going to disney world and spain.

a line from one of my favorite worship songs: "around every corner, and up every mountain, i'm not looking for crowns or water from fountains, i'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing, that the sight of Your face is all that i'm needing....i'll sing to you: it's going to be worth it, it's going to be worth it, it's going to be worth it all"

i realize that a lot of times i round corners or climb the mountains of life hoping to attain some new wisdom or direction for this present world - a revelation for myself, something that will make me a "better" christian. no wonder jesus emphasized living for the kingdom to his followers - we get too caught up in enhancing christian living rather than disciplining ourselves for a tunnel vision set to the eternal life...a life of dieing.